#12: When Japanese Coup Plotters Tried to Assassinate Charlie Chaplin
The News, This Week in Japanese History, & Much More
Welcome back, Dear Readers! Various changes to the format this week — hope you like — let’s jump in:
THE QUIZ
A picture any Japanese person will I.D. instantly. Can you?
Question: who’s this guy? (Hint: not a Twitter addict)
Answer at the foot of the mail.
THE HEADLINES
1. Economy Still Screwed
[Japan’s GDP contracted 2% in the first quarter of 2024]
2. Tokyo Court Says AI-Generated Inventions Can’t Be Patented
[Only a matter of time before corporations will find a way around this]
3. Barrier to Block View of Mt. Fuji Delayed
The convenience store backgrounded by Mt. Fuji where tourists gazelle into traffic to get the perfect shot decided to block the view. [Now they're giving a grace period]
THE READ
The Kyote has compiled a list of the 32 Best Writers on Japan in 2024, including write-ups of why they’re so good, plus the best way to jump into their work.
THE IMAGE
Credit: Bryan Eastlake
A medicinal herb garden in the shape of the human body, each section containing herbs with properties that heal ailments for that specific body part. Genius.
Location: Takahama, Fukui Prefecture
THE HISTORY
Japanese Coup Plotters Tried to Assassinate Charlie Chaplin to Provoke a War with the USA (And Ended Up Merely Killing the Prime Minister Instead)
Original images: public domain. Composite: The Kyote
War is a continuation of politics by other means; when Japan let the equation reverse and the military start to dictate politics here’s what happened: in 1932, nutcases in the Navy and nutcase Army cadets teamed up with civilian nutcases from a group called the League of Blood (!) to try to overthrow the civilian government.
Attack number 1 killed a former Finance Minister, and the Director-General of Mitsui Holding Company.
On May 15th, attack number two was launched: a bid to assassinate Prime Minister Tsuyoshi Inukai plus Charlie Chaplin at a reception for the film star, who was embarking on a highly publicized tour of Japan. The nutcases thought killing The Tramp would provoke the restoration of direct rule by the Emperor plus a cleansing war with the USA.
Instead the nutcases caught PM Inukai at home, and he was ritually shot to death by no less than 11 Army cadets, many of whom were under 20, the age of majority in Japan. However, Inukai’s son had taken Chaplin to a sumo wrestling match at the time of the assassination, which probably saved both their lives.
Seeing the whole revolution thing wasn’t kicking off after all, the killers calmly jumped into taxi cabs and handed themselves in at the nearest Kempeitai post, knowing the military police (who had been given jurisdiction over civilian matters) wouldn’t treat them too harshly.
You know you’ve been letting the military enjoy too privileged a place in society when nine kids asked to be tried by the court instead of the accused, and sent a jar containing their own pickled severed pinky fingers as a gesture of their sincerity.
So rather than the swift trial and execution in disgrace the killers deserved, they were instead merely court marshaled and given slaps on the wrist, and Japan fell even more heavily under the military’s spell — you’ll be aware that particular juncture in Japanese history continued until thousands of people were turned instantly to soap by the atomic bombs.
(In his autobiography, Chaplin recalled on his safe return to Los Angeles, “I was confused and without plan, restless and conscious of an extreme loneliness”.
As film stars are wont to do, his agonizing psychic distress was relieved only when he starting banging an actress less than half his age.)
THE QUOTE
What makes somebody nice or unpleasant to be around is the way they communicate.
When people are f*cked up, their communication is f*cked up.
Ryū Murakami
THE HASHTAG
#インプレゾンビ | English: #Impression Zombie
Everyone loves a redemption tale.
The Kyote has written before how annoying it is to report on trending hashtags on X, as any topic that goes viral is immediately besieged by foreign accounts posting the hashtag along with machine translated Japanese (and AI-generated pictures of cats).
These click-seeking accounts are called インプレゾンビ in Japanese (literally Impression Zombies), and pissed-off netizens have resorted to demanding the people behind them post pictures showing their actual location.
Guess what? One impression zombie, a Nigerian named Ken Ogbonna, actually listened, and started posting content on his everyday life in Africa narrated in rudimentary Japanese.
Cue viral fame, 10,000 new followers in 24 hours and an interview on national broadcaster NHK as a reformed international annoyance merchant.
(Though we would note that Ken hasn’t completely abandoned the quest for easy clicks: at time of publishing his latest work is a reposted video of a young woman who has either been blessed with, or surgeoned up to, an impressively-sized rear end).
THE ANSWER
Question: who’s this guy?
Answer: Kent before the redemption arc, AKA how Japan depicts your common-or-garden Impression Zombie.
Until next week,
The Kyote
New? Sign Up Here
Feedback? Just Hit Reply
The Kyote is published in Kyoto, Japan every Sunday at 19:00 JST
No lie, the saga of reformed impression zombie Ken-chan might be the most heartwarming thing I've ever heard. The last time I tried to understand a trending topic in Japan I had to give up after scrolling through fifteen of the same AI-generated cat picture. (Like, how have these people managed to ruin kittens, the foundational building block of the internet? What is the world coming to?)